5 Appreciations I Have for My Mother (I Wish I’d told her)

Why is it that it’s not until after your parents have died that you have some realizations about them? Then it’s too late to tell them thank you.

These five appreciations about my mother only came to me years after she crossed over.

I never told her.

Some are daily kinds of things. Others go deeper.

Today, on Mother’s Day, I’m hoping that maybe somehow that energy of appreciation can still reach the other side . . .

1. I appreciate the good meals Mama prepared for our family.

I have a hard enough time feeding myself, and feeding a family of four was much, much harder. Many days I can’t figure out what I want to eat. And it’s just me to feed! Not four people with different tastes. Somehow Mama figured out how to have a protein, rice or potatoes, and at least one green or yellow vegetable at supper each evening. And typically more for Sunday dinner.

Most days, I don’t enjoy cooking. I know Mama didn’t, either. But she still did. For us.

2. I appreciate that she treated people equally.

I realize now that my mother was careful to teach my sister and me that we were no better than anyone. I think that’s partially why when people had car trouble at the intersection where we grew up they came to our house for help. The people who knew us knew that Mama wasn’t going to look down on them – whoever they were, wherever they were from. They were going to get the help they needed, whether it was using the phone or getting gas or help changing a tire.

3. I appreciate that she enjoyed helping people.

This one ties in with the previous one. People came to our house for help because Mama liked helping them. And she knew how to do all kinds of things, from working on cars to tending a fire to repairing just about anything. Plus, she was always well-supplied. Gas, ropes, duct tape, wrenches, you name it. She had them all handy – and knew how to use them. Daddy knew how to use them, too, but she’s the one who made sure there were all kinds of tools and equipment handy. That mattered more to her than it did to Daddy.

4. I appreciate that she could fix most anything.

And this one is connected, too. She understood cars, and she and Daddy kept our cars running well. She could repair all kinds of small appliances. She could fix nearly anything around the house. She was also good at refinishing furniture.

She knew how to take care of almost any kind of wound, too. We’d teasingly call her “Dr. Seckinger” because she had strong opinions about taking care of physical ailments. The bathroom cabinet was full of tinctures and lotions and salves and gauzes and tape. She tended to many a cut or scrape or sprain.

5. I appreciate that she taught my sister and me to be independent.

That was one appreciation that was brought to me right after her death. Several people at the funeral home mentioned that she was “independent.” I hadn’t realized that independence was unusual. But when I thought about a woman born in 1927 and the usual role she had to play, well, yes, my mama didn’t fit that. She definitely thought her own way and lived her life her own way. She never waited on a man to take care of things. She knew she could do just about anything. And she taught my sister and me to think and live that same way.

I wish I’d thought of thanking my mama for these specifics while she was alive.

I hope that maybe I did in a roundabout way. Sometimes things get conveyed underneath the surface of words. I hope I let that conveyance take place.

Maybe she already knew – even if I didn’t say the words.

When love is deep, a lot can be communicated without words. Maybe she could feel my appreciation. Even if I wasn’t directly aware that I had it. Even if I didn’t know to say it.

I hope so.

And maybe, just maybe, she can feel it now.

Mama, you were such a blessing to me. Thank you. I appreciate all you did for me. I didn’t have the words then, but here they are now.

Happy Mother’s Day with much love.

And appreciation.

And boy, could she pack a trunk! (A Robinson talent).

And boy, could she pack a trunk! (A Robinson talent).

She liked animals a lot. Even old goats.

She liked animals a lot. Even old goats.

An Upcoming “Birth”day: Three Years After Cancer Treatments

April 24th is a kind of birthday for me.

It’s the day I completed breast cancer treatments.

And fittingly, this year’s local Relay for Life is on April 25th.

So I’m looking at this year’s Relay event as a “birthday” celebration of my third year as a cancer-free person.

But I’m not only feeling celebration . . . because cancer is swirling all around me. I have friends for whom cancer has recurred. I have friends who are nursing family members through cancer. I have friends who have had family members die from cancer. I see Facebook posts and news articles about people who are diagnosed with cancer – seemingly every day.

Cancer, cancer everywhere. Or at least that’s what I’m seeing and feeling now.

Heck, our centering prayer group reading even mentioned cancer last week!

And I have to admit that seeing and reading about cancer lately scares me. I wonder if cancer will return in my body.

I guess all cancer survivors worry about this. This past week I’ve had acute awareness of that potential. Nearly every ache and pain makes me wonder . . . is this a sign that cancer has returned?

My deep feeling is that it won’t return.

But what if I’m wrong?

That’s where my centering prayer practice provides me a foundation, one of being present with what is. Because right now I feel healthy. I feel stronger than since before cancer. I feel I’m on a good path, even though I’m currently jobless and not sure of my future.

But, honestly, who is ever sure of her future?

None of us is. Anything could happen tomorrow or in the next hour or in the next minute.

So all we really have is this moment.

I’m going to appreciate it. This moment. Right now.

With my coming “birthday,” I’m looking at the energy I’m feeling now as well as reflecting on my cancer journey in the past.

My initial Relay for Life goal

My initial Relay for Life goal

I’ve been feeling some wonderful energy connected with this year’s Relay for Life. I set a goal of raising $1,000 and posted a photo on Facebook. Within 48 hours, my Facebook friends had me over half way there, and within four days they had me over my goal.

A big “thank you!” to my very generous friends who donated to the cause of helping cancer patients and helping fund research to find a cure for this terrible disease. I’ve increased my goal, and friends continue to donate.

I’m feeling the love!


. . . and again!!


. . . and again. . .


. . . again. . .


Thank you to Relay for Life donors. . .

My look back at my cancer journey has me feeling the love, too.

Because, you see, I was surrounded by love the entire time.

Friends and family and even strangers were so loving and generous with me. They prayed for me and sent good vibes. They took me to doctor appointments and took notes for me. They brought food. They gave me blankets and clothing and hats and scarves and art. They sent cards, encouraged me on Facebook, wore scarves in solidarity, mowed my yard, raked leaves, took me to treatments, met me at treatments, visited, emailed, and texted. They sent packages with blankets and sweet grass from Montana and gift cards and more.

Some restaurant owners treated me to meals. Friends and strangers knitted, felted, and crocheted hats and blankets and prayer shawls for me. Friends and family took me out to eat. They shopped for me, had picnics for me, sent anonymous gifts to me, cut my hair (and shaved it) for me, gifted me with acupuncture sessions. One even got a squirrel out of my ductwork for me.

Another called to check on me every day.

And my sister was with me with my first (port) surgery and back for the last of the first round of chemo and back again for my lumpectomy and back again for my last chemo. She came a lot! And she checked in every day via phone or email.

There were so many loving gestures of support that I’m sure I left some out. But know that I deeply appreciated – do appreciate – them, even if I can’t remember them all at this moment.

As tough as that cancer journey was, it showed me how much love and generosity is a part of human nature. How kind people are. How willing to help.

And as I celebrate this “birthday,” I’m asking my family and friends to join with me – in prayer and thanksgiving, and perhaps in a donation to my Relay for Life efforts. Because, you see, I doubled my goal. I worry that it seems pretentious to think I could raise $2,000. But then I think of the cause – helping those with cancer and helping find a cure – so I think, “Why not? Why not try to raise as much money as I can?”

If you’d like to donate, to help me celebrate by helping others on this difficult journey, click here.

And thank you to those who have already donated – to me or to another Relay for Life team or another beat-cancer organization.

I’ll end this post with a photographic walk through my cancer journey – from September 2011, when I was diagnosed, to April 24, 2012, when I had my last radiation treatment, and three days later at Relay for Life. You just might see yourself or a gift you gave me.

It’s with gratitude that I celebrate this April. I don’t know my future, and I feel for those currently on a cancer journey.

But now, in this moment, I say thank you, deeply, to all of those who helped me in my journey and who remain friends now.

You make me feel loved.

And I love you all right back!

Because that’s what it’s all about.

Giving and receiving love. All the rest is details.


My sister joined me in a special meal just before I began treatments. She came down from New England several times to take care of me. Nothing better than a loving, caring sister!


My friend Claire painted a silk scarf for me


Getting my head shaved since my hair was about to fall out from chemo effects


Angie shaving my head


Almost done. . .




A tough day. I was getting used to being bald and feeling rotten.

CP Scarf Solidarity 2

Scarf solidarity from my centering prayer group

CP Scarf Solidarity

Now let’s get Margaret in the pic!


Selfie on sofa (where I spent most of my time)


Celebrating our birthdays (and my no-cancer-in-lymph-nodes after surgery)


Steroid voraciousness after chemo


LAST chemo treatment


Face rash from chemo. There are all kinds of side effects! BUT this was the LAST chemo treatment.


Chemo was over, and I was getting out and about. Sporting my Kim-made felted hat :)


Radiation room


Before one of my eight seroma aspirations. Yeah, I had lots of fluid problems.


Fuzz! Angie tried to dye it pink, but it didn’t work.


An outing at The Pocket to see wildflowers with Susan


A Mentone outing with Sandy, who checked on me EVERY day during my treatments!


My first Savannah return near the end of radiation treatments. Those live oaks did my soul a world of good!


With my high school friend Efrayim in Savannah


Savannah selfie


Last day of radiation, and thus of treatment. Retiring my arm and head support.


Treatment is over! My “birthday”! With the wonderful radiation techs. And wearing the cool hat Nina brought me from South America.


My first Relay for Life, three days after I completed treatments. With Kelly, nurse extraordinaire. She’s the captain of the Fuller Cancer Center team, the one I’m supporting in Relay for Life.

Energy Exercise Hiatus

As you can tell by the lack of posts lately, I’ve been on hiatus from the Pam Grout E-Squared energy exercises.

But I haven’t been on hiatus from energy.

Because, well. . .  you can’t be!

You might remember my last experiment, the one with the cilantro seeds. My intention to have the seeds sprout – and for the left side to grow faster than the right – ended like this when the week was up.


But I kept watering the seeds. I even took them with me to Savannah so that I could water them often enough. I didn’t send any intention, though.

Or, rather, I didn’t send any mindful intention.

But I did water them.

Maybe that includes some intention?

It has to, right? If you’re watering, you’re providing the seeds with something they need. And that involves intention.

Well, long story short, the seeds did start to sprout.

I can’t remember how many days it was after planting, but a couple of the seeds sprouted first.

Both were on the right side of the carton! Not the left, the side to which I had sent the intention.Nor did my intentions make the seeds sprout within a week.

But the seeds did sprout. All of them. This is what they looked like a couple of days ago.


I’m not sure if this experiment was a complete failure.

It certainly was at least a partial failure.

But however I choose to see it, I still have some cilantro to plant in a larger container.

And a lesson: Planted seeds – given sun and water – want to sprout and grow. Mindful intentions or not! And they’ll do just that. In their own time.

I mentioned that you can’t really be on hiatus from energy. During this Savannah trip, spring energy was all around.

So much was flowering, especially the azaleas.

There were and are other energies at work, but I’ll save writing about those for a later post or two.

I’ll end this one with some photos of the azaleas.

No one had to send intentions for them to bloom.

They just did. Just as seeds know when to grow, when to sprout, when to bear fruit, these azaleas bloom every year.



Azaleas in Forsyth Park


More Forsyth Park, azaleas and live oaks


Angel in Bonaventure Cemetery


Drive in Bonaventure Cemetery


Forsyth Park sidewalk


Bonaventure Cemetery cherubs

DSCN2623 IMG_7941

E-Squared Principle #6: “The Superhero Principle”

After last week’s life-changing (literally) principle, the one that prompted me to leave my job, you’d think the energy would be rocking. And that this week’s experiment would be amazing.

But if you thought that, you’d be wrong.

This week’s experiment was to see if my thoughts could change matter, the physical world.

Could my thoughts make seeds sprout faster, and not only that, but could my thoughts make the seeds planted on the left side of an egg carton sprout faster than on the right side?

As Pam Grout, the author, instructs, I planted seeds in an egg carton and watered them every couple of days. And I sent good thoughts, intentions, for sprouting – and sprouting faster on the left side. Grout suggests green bean seeds, but I used cilantro, because I figured I could actually tend those sprouts in planters this spring and summer.

Today was the end of the week-long experiment.

Here is my result.

IMG_7609Yep, no sprouts left side or right side.

I did grow a little mold on the left side of the egg carton, though!

The last experiment, the one which prompted me to leave my job, also didn’t turn out as expected. Twice.

So I’ll keep watching these seeds, sending intentions, hoping for sprouts. Intending sprouts.

I’ll keep you posted.

And in lieu of cilantro sprouts, I’ll share photos of Gibbs Gardens from this week. This is daffodil time there. They have over 20 million daffodils.

20 million! Now that’s some positive intention.

And lots of bulbs planted. Lots and lots and lots and lots.

Surely these 24 cilantro seeds can produce some sprouts.

If I truly believe they can . . .


Gibbs Gardens daffodils


More Gibbs Garden daffodils


Buddha in the Japanese gardens at Gibbs

E-Squared Principle #5: “The Dear Abby Principle”


That statement in itself seems dramatic, doesn’t it?

Well, my life took a big turn a couple of weeks ago. A turn that I swear that was prompted by doing these exercises, paying attention to energy, connecting energy with intention . . .  even subconscious, unspoken intention.

It was this experiment that convinced me that tapping into energy and paying attention can have dramatic effects in my life.

But it won’t sound like it to begin with. Because I did this experiment twice, with little to no result.

In her book E-Squared, Pam Grout calls Experiment #5 “The Dear Abby Principle.” This is the experiment which answers the question, “It it really possible to get ongoing, immediate guidance” from the the field of possibilities?

I first tried it on February 7th, immediately after completing Exercise #4. I asked if I should pursue Reiki or some other kind of energy healing as a vocation of some sort.

Then I waited for the answer. And mostly forgot about it.

So what happened in the 48 hours?


Zero. Zip. Nada.

I wondered what that meant??

I didn’t jump into the next exercise. I’d lost some of my motivation.

A couple of weeks passed. We had several days of weird weather with snow and ice, which here in the Southern states brings things to a halt. So I had lots of time for thinking, ruminating. I was feeling lots of negativity, as if I were slogging through mud. But I also felt something astir. Something positive seemed to be wanting to take root, to use this mud as fertile soil.

I decided for a re-do of Exercise #5. But I’d ask a different question.

This time I asked if I should plan a trip to the upper Midwest in the next few months. I’d been thinking of a trip, and the upper Midwest is an area I’ve hardly visited.

I paid more attention this time.

And in 48 hours, I got only one thing that might be an answer.  Certainly nothing clear, nothing in neon.

I was behind a big, yellow 18-wheeler in Fort Oglethorpe, one that was with the Estes company. I love Estes Park, so maybe that was an answer? Not the upper Midwest but back to Colorado?

But that didn’t seem a clear answer . . .

So it seemed to me that this experiment had failed twice.

Or so I thought. Until the next Monday.

That day, I had two meetings about projects that speak to my soul, projects that touch my heart. And each meeting went wonderfully. I felt real connection, a part of the flow, as if I’d plugged into the energy.

But sandwiched between the meetings was an email about my job. An email saying I wasn’t producing enough, that the home office was choosing to diminish my already-small territory,

That event felt terrible. That energy was awful.

Just the opposite of the two meetings that were sandwiched on either side of it.

A friend at the first meeting had asked questions about my job, questions that I couldn’t answer enthusiastically. And her responses made me pay attention. I could tell she didn’t think the job was a good fit for me.

She was right.

That email was waiting as I left her. I first responded to the email asking for more time. That seemed the mature, professional thing to do. But then I slept on it, and when I woke, I was angry. I had been blindsided. No mention of not enough production before now.

I thought, “Do I really want to work for this company? After all, the energy has never felt good with them, ever.”

And I thought of how that email was sandwiched between two meetings that had the opposite energy. Positive energy, soulful, heart-centered energy.

That felt significant.

So, on a whim, I fired off an email to an acquaintance who works with an education-related company asking if she knew of any jobs, part- or full-time.

She answered within five minutes. Her company was always looking for someone in professional development.

I read the requirements. They fit my skill set. More importantly, they fit my passions.

I knew what I was supposed to do.

Leave my job.

And I did.

I didn’t hear back about my request for more time until the next afternoon. They did offer more time (with some restrictions), but I’d already made up my mind the previous day. The lifting of the bad energy had been immediate when I decided to leave them.

It was all so clear now!

So why am I telling you this story as a part of the Dear Abby Principle??

It’s because I think that this situation was the clear answer to that experiment.

But I’d been asking the wrong questions!

I’d read that chapter three times before trying the experiment, and each time, this part jumped out at me:

“But watch out. I tried this once and got fired. In retrospect, however, it was the perfect answer, maybe the only one I could hear to the question I’d asked . . .”

All three times, that part kind of scared me. So I was careful not to ask a question that had anything to do with my job.

But guess what?

The field of possibilities decided to answer a question about my job!

That was the question that wanted to be asked, needed to be asked. Even though I was afraid to ask it.

I didn’t get fired, but I saw the handwriting on the wall. This already-yucky job was about to get yuckier.

It was time for me to leave. And the Universe showed me another path. Within five minutes of my asking.

Now it may be that this new path isn’t exactly the right one for me, but I feel sure it’s leading me in the right direction. The yucky feeling of the past year and a half has lifted. I’m exited again. I’m wanting to learn new skills, to use the ones I already have, to pursue my passions, to follow the energy that feels right – as opposed to the energy that felt wrong.

And I truly feel that doing these experiments has put me into the flow so that guidance can come my way, will come my way.

Has come my way. Miraculously.

Even when I was afraid to ask!

I started Experiment #6 today. I’ll report on it next Sunday. It’s not so risky. This one involves sprouting seeds, literal seeds.

I’ll also be watering some figurative seeds, ones that got planted with the last experiment when I got the answer to my unasked question.

And until next Sunday, I’ll be trying to pay attention to what wants to happen in my life.

And watering seeds. And sending intentions. And paying more attention to the guidance I receive.

Because I’ve discovered that if I get into the flow, what wants to happen is probably going to happen anyway!


Chickamauga Battlefield last Sunday afternoon.

Check out the my previous experiments here.

E-Squared Principle #4: “The Abracadabra Principle”

Another Sunday has rolled around, and it’s time for my E-Squared report.

This one is the “Abracadabra Principle.” (Which, by the way, is my favorite chapter title).

The premise here is that we can manifest things, specific things. Material things. Just by thinking about them.

Sounds cool, huh?

But I had to quiet the skeptic in me. It started to say, “No way! You can’t manifest material things, things made of matter, just by thinking of them!”

I told the skeptic, “Come on. Give it a try.  What do you have to lose?”

So I determined that I would manifest a pair of walking shoes.

But not just any walking shoes. I wrote this in my journal:

My intention:  To receive a pair of walking/running shoes, narrow, Brooks or another well-fitting narrow pair, bright colors that make my heart happy and ground me.  And make me want to get outside!

I wrote out the intention you see in the photo and put it on my dream tree.  And I set my 48-hours.

And I thought about shoes.

I went through my 48 hours thinking about shoes a lot. Looking up shoes on the internet. Checking brands to see who had narrow shoes. Checking prices. Thinking of how comfortable the shoes would be. How much I’d enjoy walking in them.

Two days almost passed, and no one sent me or gave me a pair of shoes.

I wondered if this would be the first failed experiment.

But just before the 48-hour time period was up, I made a sale. One for which the commission would be a big hunk of the price of a pair of running shoes.

And I cashed in $16 worth of lottery tickets. I thought they’d be worth about five bucks.

All total, that came within about $15 of the shoes I wanted.


Shoes and written intention

So I went to a local shoe store and tried on a lot of shoes. And finally chose a pair and ordered them in my size and width.  Shoes that are bright and happy and fit well and make me want to get outside and walk.

No one brought me shoes, gave me shoes. And the amount wasn’t quite enough.

So was the experiment a failure or a success?

Maybe it was a partial success because I only partially believed?

I’m not sure.

But I really like my new shoes.

And I want to end with a WARNING.

If you’re thinking of starting these energy experiments but haven’t actually begun them, you might want to think twice.  Because next week I’m going to tell you about an experiment that totally shifted the direction of my life.

I really believe that doing these experiments got the energy flow going.  That these experiments are a catalyst for the changes that are coming about in my life as I type right now.

So you are forewarned.

Until next week, let’s be brave. . .  and let’s go with the energy flow!


You see, I got outside. This was this afternoon. See the energy in the sky?

E-Squared Principle #3: “The Alby Einstein Principle”

It’s time for a Sunday report on my E-Squared experiments. I’ll tell you right up front  . . .  this one got a WHOA! from me.

Pam Grout’s Experiment #3 is to prove that we’re fields of energy in a bigger field of energy.  And this one requires objects existing in the physical dimension, not just thoughts and intentions.

The instructions are to get two coat hangers and straighten them out and make them into kind of magic wands with bent ends.  At least that’s how I looked at it – because magic wands are pretty cool.  You put plastic straws on the bent ends that you’re holding so that you’re not directly touching the metal.

You hold the wands and think negative thoughts and then positive thoughts.  Your wands should react to your energy.

My version of the experiment was even more interesting than what Grout described because I had two different types of coat hangers.  The first one I got was an old one – probably 20 or 30 years old.  So the metal was fairly heavy.

The second coat hanger was newer, and the metal was lighter.

When I held the coat hanger wands in front of me, I could definitely tell the difference.  The light one flopped back and forth pretty wildly, while the heavier one moved a lot less.

Grout warns you that they’ll be whanging around until you settle them, so that didn’t surprise me.  They settled pretty quickly.

Once they were steady, I started with negative thoughts.  I pulled up a situation that has given me recent pain, one that makes my heart contract.  And sure enough, the coat hanger wands pointed toward each other.  My energy actually had contracted.

Then I shifted gears and thought of something that makes me happy, something that makes my heart feel good.  And sure enough, the wands expanded, moved away from each other.  And the lighter one opened up so wide that it kept expanding until it rested on my upper arm.

I was like WHOA!!  can control energy!!  Woohoo!!  This is cool!

But being a bit of a skeptic, I calmed myself down and switched hands to see what happened if I had the lighter one and heavier one in different hands.

You can probably guess.

I got the same results.

As Grout suggests, I tried controlling the energy.  I could make the wands move more slowly, expand or contract gradually.  I could make them most fast and kind of wildly.  I learned to control them pretty much however I wanted.

That was a month ago.  I left the wands out because every now and then I’ll pick them up and see if I can still expand and contract energy.

I can.  Every time.

It’s very cool!

I can’t wait for someone else to try it and let me know what happens!

Please comment below after YOU give it a try!

And thank you SO much to the couple of folks who commented last week.  It’s much more meaningful to me to be doing these experiments in a community of experimenters.

And if you’d like to start now, it’s certainly not too late.  Here are the links for my first posts about these experiments:

Join Me in an E-Squared Community

Experiment #1:  The Dude Abides  (I know people did this one but didn’t post on the blog.  I’m hoping they’ll go back and do that so that results are shared with each experiment).

Experiment #2:  The Volkswagen Jetta Principle

If you’re just joining in, there’s no timeline.  These posts will be here when you have time for the experiments and then dropping by to comment.

And until next week, May the Energy Be with You!


E-Squared Principle #2: “The Volkswagen Jetta Principle”

“The Volkswagen Jetta Principal” in Pam Grout’s book E-Squared is an experiment concerning whether our “beliefs and expectations” have an impact on the Field of Infinite Possibilities.

Grout chose the “Volkswagen Jetta Principle” as the title of this chapter because probably all of us have experienced having a new type of car come into our awareness – and then we see it seemingly everywhere.

So the first part of this experiment was to look for a certain color of car in a 24-hour period.  She suggested a “sunset-beige” car.  But since I’m not sure what color that actually is, I chose to look for blue cars.  Because I thought there weren’t many of them.

Salzburger Landing Day, St. Patrick's in Savannah, Biltmore 111

I even found a blue car in my photos, too. This one was in Savannah’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade in 2009.

Okay, I was really wrong about there not being many blue cars!  There are lots.  I saw lots of blue cars.

When I remembered to look for them . . . .

This time I had a much harder time being aware, paying attention.

I didn’t notice any blue cars when I first left the house.  But when I finally remembered to look, there were many.  I even met several in a row on my drive into Chattanooga.

This experiment also has a second part.  Grout said to look for butterflies or purple feathers during the next 24-hour time period of this 48-hour experiment.

I chose purple feathers.  Because I thought there’d be fewer of them.  (Notice a pattern here?  I try to make things harder.  You think that might be a reflection of how I make my life?  Harder than necessary?  Yeah, I think so, too.  Point taken.)

Now if I’d chosen butterflies, I’d have found lots and lots.  Immediately.  Because my daily journal is covered in butterflies.

But no, I didn’t choose butterflies.

I chose purple feathers.

And I saw nary a one during the 24-hour period.

But during that 24 hours, I told a friend about the experiment.  And she looked at me kind of surprised and said, “I swept up a purple feather at the lake house yesterday.”

What are the odds???

I think that was my purple feather.  Via a friend’s attention and experience.  Do you agree?  Do you think that counts?

So, those of you who are playing along, please share your experiences in the comments below.

And if you just started and want to share your experiences of Experiment #1, “The Dude Abides.” just click here, and share your comment on that blog post.

And finally, I want to share an interesting coincidence.

Several years ago, while I was still teaching high school, I woke in the middle of the night with this statement in my head:  “We forge our own chains.”  I wrote it in my journal.  But I didn’t need to do that, because it rang so clearly of Truth that is has stayed with me ever since.

In the chapter on Principle #2, Grout includes this quote:

“You will not break loose until you realize that you yourself forge the chains that bind you.”

– Arten in The Disappearance of the Universe, by Gary Renard

I haven’t read that book.

But maybe I should, eh?!

Until next week and my sharing of Experiment #3, Happy Experimenting to you!

Labor Day 09 Savannah, Salzburgers, Biltmore 134

A butterfly in my photos. This one is 2009 as well.

E-Squared Principle #1: “The Dude Abides”

Okay, so today I report the result of my first E-Squared experiment (from Pam Grout’s book E-Squared ).

Last Sunday, I asked that you join me in these experiments to form a community of people who are trying the series of 48-hour experiments and sharing their results.

Grout calls the first experiment “The Dude Abides.”  The Dude to which she alludes is from The Big Lebowski.  You don’t need to have seen the movie to perform this experiment.  (But since I hadn’t, I watched it last week).

Grout posits that there is a Field of Infinite Possibilities and that we each have access to it. Not only do we have access to it, but we can tap into it “at any time by paying attention.”

I started my 48-hour experiment three weeks ago by doing as Grout instructed in the directions.  To ask for a blessing in 48 hours.  And then pay attention.

I wrote the principle, theory, and hypothesis in my journal.  And I expected a gift in 48 hours.

I was truly excited as I started the 48 hours.

I tried not to have expectations but to be open to what is – and what wanted to be.

But I found that I have a hard time with letting go of expectations – and fears.  Yes, fears!  I was surprised to feel a worry emerge, a concern.  What if something bad happened?

I was intrigued at that emergence.  What is the source?  Do I truly believe that with each positive potential there is a negative one?  I’ve been kind of pondering that since the first experiment.  I don’t have an answer . . .  but since this post isn’t about my neuroticism, I’ll continue to the results, to what happened during the 48 hours.

During the first 24 hours, I was very aware of potential gifts.

In a store, I had a nice conversation with a couple of moms and a cute toddler named Willow.  Was this my gift?  It could be. . . but it wasn’t in “neon,” as Grout emphasized in the “asking” directions.

I lost some focus in the second 24 hours, quit paying attention so carefully.

So, of course, that’s when the gift came.

I didn’t recognize it at first.

A knock on my front door around four in the afternoon (not very common – that should have been a clue).

There stood my neighbor from up the hill, a teenaged boy who had helped me with some yard work early in January.

Did I want him to finish filling up the holes in my front yard?

I told him I didn’t have any more soil to put in them, that I’d not remembered to get any yet.

No problem.  He’d been working in his yard and had a pile of dirt.  He’d bring some down in his wheelbarrow.

I still didn’t realize this was my dude-abiding gift.

So, to help me out, the Field of Potential made it more clear.

My neighbor brought a puppy down in the wheelbarrow with him.  I played with the puppy while he filled in the holes.  I commented on how cute the puppy was.  It played all around us and even tumbled into one of the holes.

And then . . . . my neighbor offered me the puppy!

Do you know how unusual that is?  That someone would be working in my yard, doing some work for me out of the blue, and then offer me a puppy??!

And you know what else?

I still didn’t realize that that, the help and the offer, was the gift!!

Maybe it was because I didn’t take the puppy.  I felt that if this boy could work it out to keep the puppy, she was supposed to be his.  He’s not sure he can keep her, so I told him not to give her away without checking with me first.  I’m not sure how she’d do with my four yard cats, but we’ll figure that out if we need to.  But I really didn’t and don’t want to separate a boy and his dog.

After the holes were filled and my neighbor headed back up the hill with the puppy in his wheelbarrow, I finally realized that I had indeed received a gift.

That this had not been a usual occurrence.

That the Field had come through for me.

That I had received a gift.

And that it was pretty much in neon!

That all I had to do was ask . . . . and then abide.


That was my first 48-hour experiment.

I hope you’ll share yours in the comments below.  Because I’m interested in seeing the various ways in which our intentions and expectations can influence The Field.

Next Sunday, I’ll share my experiences with Experiment #2, “The Volkswagen Jetta Principle.”

Until then, let’s pay attention.

And ask.

And be open to receiving.

Join me in an E-Squared Community

Calling all experimenters – energy experimenters, thought experimenters – even skeptics, perhaps even especially skeptics.

Join me in an online community of sharing.  One that shares the results of some energy experiments to see if our thoughts really do create our reality.

Does that speak to you?  Are you up for nine energy experiments that deal with your thoughts?

If so, get this book, E-Squared by Pam Grout, and join me in doing the experiments. You can get the book in paper form or in energy form (that spoke to me for a book about energy!) from your favorite bookseller.  Right now, it’s $4.99 on Kindle and iTunes.


What I’d like you to do is to perform the experiments and share your results.

I’m going to post about each of the nine experiments and share my results.  And I’d like you to join in and form a community, an online energy community, and share your results, too.  It will be so much more fun for us to see what others find in their experimentation.

Will we have similar results?  Or very different ones?

Who knows?

But I’d love to find out!

You can do the experiments at your pace.  No hurry, no timeline.  Just do them as they speak to you.

Because one of the cool things about a blog is that it will be here when you want to add your comments.  It won’t go away.  It doesn’t hold you to finishing at a certain time on a certain day.

Just follow your energy as you’re called to do each experiment.  And pay attention. And share your results.

It will be fun to see how energy flows with each of us.  How it connects with each of our lives in its own way.

And maybe it will even flow among us!

I’ve already done the first handful of experiments.  But I’ll wait to share my results.

I’ll post each Sunday – one experiment and my results – for nine Sundays.

I hope you’ll add your results in the comments.  Whenever it suits you.  No hurry, no pressure.

We’ll have an online community of energy experimenters.

One that I hope will include you!