Anxiety

I’m swirling around one of the eddies that reoccur for me.  They used to suck me in pretty often, but now it’s every now and then and happens unpredictably.  The old anxiety monster.  Only now it’s not so much a monster as a surprise visitor, someone I know really well and don’t like.  I think it’s appearing now because it’s a really busy time and lots of unpredictables are all around.  Anxiety usually comes during the night, and I wake up all tense, but then as I get involved with my day it gradually fades away.  When I sit with it in my centering prayer, I can start the process of helping it fade.  So that’s what I’ll do this morning as I get some things done in preparation for my DC trip tomorrow and in trying to generate some business for Chattanooga Sidewalk Tours.  The funny thing is that I KNOW I’m not in control, but the illusion of control seems to comfort me.  And I know once I let go of that illusion and trust the flow, life works out quite well.  Never what I expected, but pretty dang miraculous.  So here’s to letting go.  It’s a toast with my coffee mug this morning as I prepare to go do a sit with anxiety  and let myself feel it in the swirl of the eddy, and then I’ll get back into the current where the miracles abound.

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One thought on “Anxiety

  1. Wow- I’d never thought of it like that. Usually I deal very harshly with anxiety and maybe that’s why it continues to hang around…

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