Settling some. . . .maybe

I was less tense when I woke up today than any day since the breast cancer diagnosis.  Is it because my sister is here?  Because I’m finally getting used to the idea that I have cancer and all that goes with it?  Because prayer and meditation are changing me?  Maybe it’s all of the above plus some things of which I’m not aware, but my guess is that having my sister here is the largest factor.  Those of you with siblings will understand, or at least those of you who have siblings with whom you’re close will.  It’s something about that shared history – parents, home, situation, so many memories that include each other.

With my sister at the Canyon Grill for a pre-cancer-treatment dinner

Even though I have the outpatient surgery to put in the portacath tomorrow, and medical procedures usually make me very anxious, so far today I’m feeling much better.  I went to the hospital this morning for the pre-surgery checking in and did fine.  There’s a speaker I want to hear this evening in Chattanooga, and we’ll go into town for that.  Tomorrow’s surgery is at 12:30, too late for chemo in the afternoon, so Thursday morning at nine is the first chemo round.  Then I think I get a few days off.  My sister leaves on Saturday, and maybe we can take some time on Friday for something fun.  I hope so.  But even if not, it sure has been a blessing to have her here.  One more big blessing among so many.

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