Recovery after a major illness or trauma is an uneven affair. At least for me it has been. Though I’ve been feeling better and better since April, I’m still not back to pre-cancer and pre-cancer treatment energy levels. But last Saturday felt like a big step in that direction. That morning, one of bright sun and clear fall blue sky, it hit me. “I feel better than I have in a long, long time!”
You know what? It was within four days of the six-month mark after my last radiation treatment. One of my oncologists told me in September that fatigue usually lasts six months after radiation. Well, it appears that he was right! Here I am at that six-month mark, feeling better than I have in over a year.
Don’t misunderstand me and think that I’m back to “normal,” able to keep up a good pace, having enough energy to be on the go for full days every day of the week. That is not the case. I still run out of steam pretty easily. But I no longer have that bone-tiredness, the kind of tiredness that only someone who has been through chemo and radiation or other intensive treatments or who has had major surgery can understand.
Before cancer, I thought I knew what it was to be exhausted. No, I didn’t. I had no idea what real exhaustion is. But now I do. I’ve been there and gone through it and have come out the other side.
And that other side feels pretty darn good!
I’m so grateful for this next step in healing. For an autumn when I can enjoy the crisp air and blowing leaves and not be bone-tired and nauseated.
I say prayers for those who are going through illness and treatments. I know how hard it is.
And I wish that all who are suffering may have recovery, days when they feel well, healthy, able. And that we all, those recovering and recovered, can share in deep, profound gratitude.