Although I try to follow my intuition (because I know it’s very wise), sometimes I confuse myself and don’t know what to do – or not to do.
This is a story of just that:
I was scheduled for a biopsy last month, one that could be very painful. I had not felt comfortable with this doctor, not confident in him, partially because of the way he gave information. And not comfortable with his office setting.
For both the office and doctor, something felt “off.”
That was my hint that it was my intuition warning me.
But I thought it was my fear . . . fear of a painful biopsy and possible cancer. I’m a cancer survivor, and that cancer journey was mighty tough. Chances of taking it again scare me.
Notice that I emphasize the words felt and thought.
That’s where I had my big hints about intuition. For me, intuition usually works as a feeling, not a thought. It’s in my body, not in my head.
But at this point in this story, thoughts trumped feelings.
I had scheduled the biopsy date six weeks away. As that date came nearer, I got more nervous, and I shared my concerns with a few friends.
I was worried about how painful the procedure could be. One friend confirmed my fears. She told me not to go through it without anesthesia. She had had a terrible experience with this same procedure. So had her sister.
So I called to reschedule and got another date to see the doctor and set up a hospital date.
Meanwhile, I shared my fears with other friends. I told them my situation, that I was very scared about the pain.
And while I was discussing those fears with one of these friends – a friend who sensed that my intuition might be telling me something about this doctor – an acquaintance of hers walked by. And stopped to talk. Their conversation went into an area that didn’t concern me, so I went on my way.
When I got home, I checked my phone. I had a message from my friend. She mentioned “synchronicity.”
And, boy, was it!
As their conversation continued after I left, her acquaintance mentioned having breast cancer five years ago. Guess what? So did I. Five years ago I was finishing my second chemo and about to start radiation.
She talked about a biopsy and surgery two years later – the very same type biopsy I feared now. She talked about how she loved this doctor, how he had been willing to listen to her, to treat her as she wanted to be treated.
My friend told her about my situation – my fears and my discomfort with my doctor.
Her acquaintance sent me a message: “Don’t ever stay with a doctor with whom you don’t feel comfortable.”
She also gave my friend the name of her doctor. He had performed surgery, and she was very happy with the outcome and how he handled everything.
This surely was quite the synchronicity! Such similar circumstances!
And at a time when I needed this message – plus I needed the name of another doctor, one that would feel better for me, one that came highly recommended.
It’s almost as if her reason to stop and talk was to deliver this message for me . . . even though I’d already gone on my way.
So the next morning I called this new doctor’s office. The receptionist gave me an appointment in less than a week (even though word was that he was hard to get in to see).
And now I’m scheduled for surgery next month. With a doctor with whom I feel confident, one who handled my fears compassionately. He talked through my options thoroughly. I feel comfortable with my decision. I feel comfortable with him. Plus his office also felt right.
I feel almost completely opposite the way I felt with the other doctor.
The moral of this story is:
I should trust my intuition.
But if I can’t – if I don’t because I confuse my intuition with fear, God/the Universe will send guidance. Direct guidance if I fret a lot. Even down to the name of the doctor I should be with. (The first doctor might be right for others. He just wasn’t right for me).
And now, even though surgery (of course) gives me pause, I feel confident that I’m taking the best path for me. I don’t feel afraid. I’m not wondering if I’m with the right doctor in the right office.
Because I know I am. I can feel it.
And I had the help of some very direct guidance. Through my friends and their friends and acquaintances, I did find the right place.
Or, rather, it found me.
I’m grateful that synchronicity made it very clear.
Because sometimes I can confuse myself!
Now I know that there is guidance out there.
Guidance just for me.
And another reminder:
Trust your intuition!